More you might like
I reached out to someone
To take pictures of me to memorialize or maybe just remember this moment. Memorialize is dramatic. Let’s see how that goes.
Today I’m 21!! I’m grateful for this journey to reach this point. I guess it’s important to know that trying to make it all linear and make sense is just too transactional I think. The sum of all these parts alter the whole .. there’s been displacement discontinuity plateauing and more. Definitely not a road. More like stars in the sky of the universe that is me!! Behind the walls of my castle of my heart .. I want to finally wear a crown . Maybe soon
Mental illness!!!
I’ve been learning to let things go!! Usually I finish things completely or all the way through/ exhausting every possible option being 100% sure that I am complete. Even when I don’t enjoy that process or I preemptively know I don’t want or need the end result. Just for the sake of finishing and completion like some big puzzle or tesselation no missing pieces!!! Tesselating that way isn’t healthy it was just indicative of my OCD and anxious yearning to materialize my self worth into a finished project to prove visually that I am something of worth. But at the end of the DAY it’s the end of the day and I can’t waste my time on finishing things I was forced to start or imposing processes that our products of my environment.
I haven’t been doing much at all and I think that this is brave. Doing nothing after being a locomotive of powerful productivity and then the ensuing burn out.
Do we find meaning through projects of worth?? Maybe. There’s no way to access all the projects that may possess potential worth for me and that sense of incompletion of the circle bothers me. Probably everyone. Finding peace 🎄🎄merry Christmas